FSBO-For Sale By Oh-No

So you’ve decided to sell your house on your own. You announced it proudly to your friends, posted a few pics on Facebook Marketplace, maybe even stuck a crooked “For Sale By Owner” sign in your yard like a true rebel.

You're doing it. You’re saving that commission. You’re unstoppable. Until you’re not.

Cue: panic.

It starts with the “easy” stuff- like taking listing photos on your iPhone while your dog photobombs every room, or realizing you don’t know what square footage actually includes. (Newsflash: your unfinished garage is not “bonus living space.”)

Then come the texts. The “interested” buyers who ghost you after asking if you’ll take $75K less and leave the appliances. The ones who show up late. Or early. Or just don’t show up at all. It’s like online dating, but instead of ghosting over dinner, they disappear halfway through your mortgage conversation.

And let’s not even talk about the paperwork. Oh wait- yes, let’s.

Because after showing the home, answering the same 14 questions about the HVAC, and pretending not to care when someone calls your floors “dated,” you finally get an offer…AND THEN COME THE FORMS. The contracts. The contingencies. The inspection negotiations. The appraisal that somehow makes you question your entire existence.

You start Googling things like:

• “What if buyer backs out of FSBO contract?”

• “How many candles is too many for an open house?”

• “Can I legally ban people from touching my cabinets?”

• “Am I still saving money if I cry this much?”

Look, I love a good DIY moment. I built an Ikea bunk bed solo and only mostly cried. But selling a house? That’s next level. You’re not just slapping a price tag on your home and hoping someone Venmo's you. There are legal consequences. Emotional breakdowns. Possibly spreadsheets.

And if you’re still reading this thinking, Nah, I got this, Then yes- yes you do. You got this. You also might get:

• Underpriced by 20K

• Overwhelmed by contract timelines

• A mysterious rash from stress-cleaning your bathroom grout

  
  

Still Want to FSBO? Cool. Here’s 5 Ways Not to Burn It All Down:

1. Stage Your Home Like a Pro (or at least hide the chaos): Buyers aren’t just looking at your square footage- they’re judging your life choices. Clear the clutter, remove personal photos, and maybe rethink the leopard-print accent wall.

2. Price it Right the First Time: No, your neighbor’s 2019 sale doesn’t count. Research real comps in your area and price it based on reality, not vibes. Overpricing kills momentum faster than bad Wi-Fi.

3. Get a Legit Contract Template (not just Google Docs): Your cousin’s old lease agreement doesn’t cut it. Use actual, state-specific real estate documents. You don’t want your deal blowing up over a missing disclosure.

4. Prepare for Awkward Showings: Yes, strangers will open your closets. Yes, they’ll comment on your paint color while you’re standing there. Smile, nod, and go to your happy place.

5. Know When to Tap Out: It’s okay to throw in the towel when it all feels like too much. That doesn’t make you a failure- it makes you human. And when that moment comes? Call me. Not with guilt or shame- but like you’d call your ride-or-die when you need someone to help hide the metaphorical body.

   
   

The Exit Plan (Because You’re Smart, Not Stubborn)

Here’s the thing: I’m not here to talk you out of FSBO. If you’re confident, prepared, and organized?

Go crush it.

But if you reach a point where you're drowning in paperwork, buyer drama, and “what even IS a title company?”- don’t go down with the ship.

Call me. I’ll bring comps, calm, and coffee. No judgment. No pressure. Just backup.

Because even when you can do it on your own, sometimes it’s nice to know someone’s got your back- especially when the closing clock is ticking and your sanity is slowly leaking out through the air vents.